Now the other morning, when getting the kids ready and dressed for school, my son Jaymee asked me this question: “Mommy, do you like being a mommy?” My response was just a simple “NO”…I could see he was really shocked at my answer but that was the truth…I really don’t like being a mommy…
Of course he didn't expect to hear me say that but I quickly gave him a few reasons to explain to my answer.
- Not listening when I’m talking
- Not doing their chores
- Not cleaning up after themselves, etc.
Later on this actually got me thinking a bit. Do I really like being a mommy?? Well, no I don’t. I love my kids dearly, each one of them even though sometimes I can just pick them up by the neck and strangle them, I really, really, really like being their mom, I just really don’t like being A MOM.
Don’t judge me…just yet. Being a mom is really hard. I sometimes wonder how I got myself into this. Of course – I know…I love you, you love me. Let’s get married and have a few babies…I’m sure this is pretty much how everyone’s story goes but for some this can be a very daunting experience.
You go from being so in love and staring into each other’s eyes until all these kids shows up and then you get so overwhelmed by the fact that these little person’s entire life depends on you and you barely have time to slap on some lip gloss before you run out by the door because you’re to worried that you’ll forget to pack in an extra set of clothes or the wet wipes for just in case they poop all over themselves at the most inconvenient of times.
And then they get a bit older and busier and you are so stressed out because you’re so scared that they’ll fall and get hurt or run into a wall. Then they get to that phase where everything you do either irritates them or is wrong (in their opinion of course) and you don’t want to disappoint them so you just try and not do anything that embarrasses them. But you’re never really sure if you’re in fact embarrassing them or not. But by this time you realize they’re actually playing with your emotions because they know how much you care about them.
So what mommies actually do from day one is care and love and protect and give and spoil and become this selfless human beings that places everyone else’s needs in front of theirs and sometimes forget about themselves. Forget the fact that they are people too, a person with needs and feelings and a life!
And this is the problem I have with being a mommy. I’ve been there, I am there. It’s almost never “Daddy”, it’s mostly ‘Mommy”. Only mommy can make me feel better, only mommy will understand and only mommy will make it all go away. I constantly have to remind them that they don’t only have one parent but TWO. It’s like their father is invisible. I can understand that when they’re hungry they come directly to me but why am I the first parent they think of when it comes to homework or scratching their backs on a spot where they can’t reach?
So even though mommies are the be-all and end-all of their children’s existence, it sometimes is a very crappy job! Even if we agree upon carving out some well deserved “me time” for ourselves from time to time or hang out with some friends just to stay sane, we’ll always choose our kids above anything else. Why??? Because mommies have the biggest hearts!
How do you feel about being a mom?