My husband and I will celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary in May this year and for about 4 months of that 13 years, we were kid-free. We had Azaria very soon after we got married so the part where we “get to know” each other in this new setup actually didn’thappen. Like many other marriages, we faced loads of challenges that sometimes made giving up seem like the best thing to do at the time. Only after a couple of years of going back and forth, we ended up on the same page where our marriage concerned.
Three kids later, we had everything running like a well-oiled machine, or so we thought. Devoting our lives to our children seems like a good thing especially if they are still small but focusing solely on your kids and not at all on your marriage is where the trouble begins. You might not realize this now but soon you will. Here is how I found out…
You know you have a child centered marriage when…
When you get to a place and everyone asks you where your kids are.
I can only remember a few times when we went somewhere without the kids. They are always with us and some of our friends find it strange when we rock up at a place alone.
You win a weekend away at a grand place and you take the kids along.
Ya, at the time it was just Azaria and Jaymee and we ended up taking them along because we were going to have a great time ant there’ll be a pool – which they would love and it will be fun for them. Really??
The kids are off to grandma for the weekend and an hour after they left you phone to ask how they are.
I’m not sure which one of us are the worst. How can you miss them when you just tried to kill them 2 hours ago?
Then you wake up the next morning contemplating to go get them instead of the next day like you planned.
Hahahaha…this happened so many times. We’re just so used to having them around. Or we go somewhere like to a wedding or so and we drop them off at my Mom’s for the night but we end up picking them up after the wedding.
You feel that the house is too quiet without them.
Who doesn’t agree that children are the life of a home? Even though you sometimes want to strangle them, you can’t get used to “peace” of not having them there.
There’s periods of awkward silence between the two of you when the kids are not around.
You can only talk so much, right? Especially when the only conversations you ever have is with your kids and you and your husband seldom get a word in ‘cos by the time when you get to bed which is the ideal time to converse with your significant other, you both pass out on the pillows.
And that my friends, is two people who are living a child centred marriage who is hard at work trying to shove some of that focus to their marriage instead of their kids.
If you by any chance happen to suffer from one of these symptoms, get yourself checked out before it is too late ‘cos one of these days the kids are all grown up, they will leave the nest. What will you centre your marriage around then?