Am I really that boring?

My weekends are pretty much the same. If we don’t have anything planned, on Fridays we stay home and watch movies. Both my husband and I knock off early from work every Friday so we use this time to clean the house resulting in having a free Saturday.

On Saturdays we either sleep late – me, not the kids – or we are off to the mall to do a grocery run. We normally have people over, something I love – because going out tends to get expensive when you have a family as big as mine. Sundays we go to church and spend the rest of the day with family.

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This past Saturday, Alan, Jody and I left to go to the mall – alone – because apparently Azaria and Jaymee are now too big to go anywhere with us. May I just also add that it was a mission to get Jody in the car as he also didn’t feel like tagging along with mom and dad. The two older ones decided to take a walk with their aunt to their cousins house who lives close by and spent most of the afternoon there.

On our return with some friends, my husband wanted to go for dessert somewhere and we ended up taking a drive to Gordon’s Bay. My husband’s sister offered to babysit for the evening – one of the perks of having your husbands’ sister live with us.

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So according to our friends, I was nagging all the way there and back. Just to defend myself, I just felt a bit cold because I didn’t take a jacket or jersey along and I might have said something along the lines of, ” Dessert is something I want to do with my kids”.

You tell me…is there anything wrong with that statement? After hearing how “boring” I was for most of the evening, it kinda bothered me a teeny tiny bit. I was having a good time. I mean, who doesn’t like taking long strolls along the beach, trying to finish 3 scoops of ice cream on a sugar cone, shivering and thinking how the kids would have enjoyed it all the way?

The thing is, I am so used to doing everything with my kids. Everything feels strange and not normal without them. I have somewhat been warming up to the idea of not having the older two with us everywhere we go but Jody is still so tiny and still needs my attention. Also, when the other two was his age, they didn’t have a choice but were glued to our hips.

So how boring am I really? Or is it just the mommy guilt that doesn’t allow me to enjoy myself fully without wishing that the kids was with us? I mean, how do you forget about your kids for a couple of hours? Even though there were a few times when I was about to lock the door and realized that Jody wasn’t in the car. It’s just not the same thing.

Is it just me who finds it difficult to switch off from mommy-mode to being my own self? Maybe it would be easier when the little one is a bit older and I feel more at ease leaving him at home. Who knows? For now I’ll just take it one step at a time on this road called motherhood.

Is it just me or are there more moms that experiences this? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Till later.

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