Guys, get ready for a pity party.
My children don’t love me. I thought they did but they don’t. My heart is broken into a million pieces and I don’t think that it can ever be mended.
A few months back I mentioned to sister in law that someone we both know, recently got divorced. Of course we spoke about it a bit, obviously trying to figure out what and how it happened but because it really doesn’t concern me in any way, we didn’t dwell too long on the topic.
Let me just mention real quick that while we were talking about this, my son, Jaymee was laying on the bed, playing some video games. I wasn’t aware that he was listening to the conversation because most of the time when he has a device of any sorts in his hands, he’s in Zombie mode and doesn’t even respond to his own name.
So after eavesdropping on my conversation, he lifted his head and said, “I’m just saying that if Mommy and Daddy ever get a divorce, I’ll go with daddy.” At first I thought that I’d heard wrong but that was exactly what he said. He is choosing his dad over me. Fast forward a few weeks later, I was telling someone about this and Azaria heard (my house is very small) and said that she too will go with “Daddy” if divorce were to ever be on the cards. I don’t even have to ask Jody, I know exactly where his priorities lie. Perfect Alan! I have also recently heard Jaymee telling Azaria how “daddy loves them more than mommy” and when I asked him why he thought that, he said he just knows.
Let me break it down a bit. Alan and I have very different parenting styles especially when it comes to discipline. I allow him to handle certain situations the way he wants to and he allows me to do the same, without meddling in. Can you tell that we are killing it in the COMPROMISING part of our marriage? Reason for this is, we always try to keep a united front in front of the kids and by “try” I mean that it’s not always the case. If there is something that I didn’t like or agreed on, I will let him know when we’re alone.
Apparently ironing or throwing their underwear in the tumble dryer on a cold winters morning, or negotiating with their dad after he said “no” to something they had asked for already, doesn’t count in their eyes. Even the fact that they complain about only getting served eggs when I’m away for work and Perfect Alan is on kitchen duty, doesn’t tip the scale in my favour.
The first thing that came to mind was starving them until they choose me….JOKE! Well, maybe it is me. Maybe I don’t show that much affection. Or maybe this is just their way of blackmailing me into getting what they want.
What I do know is that parenting is not a competition, especially not between two parents raising the same kids. As long as we both do our best and our kids are happy, we have nothing to worry about. Who cares about what they think anyway. They are just kids.