What to do when your child is victimized

This is my daughter’s first year on high school and for me it has been one big roller coaster ride! I would even go as far as to say…a nightmare. I wasn’t sure if I should write about this over here but what I am about to share, has absolutely nothing to do with the school my daughter attends.

Earlier this year, two boys got into a fight because the one boy found out that the other boy asked the girl he wanted to ask, to be his valentine. This girl didn’t agree to any of the requests. This girl was my daughter. A couple of months thereafter, another two boys felt is was okay to grab her pencil bags, throw it around, take a scissor and cut two pieces of her braids off. By the time she told us about it, she’d “already sorted it out”. My husband went to school and the situation was dealt with accordingly.

A couple of days ago, I read something very disturbing on one of my Facebook friend’s status. Two boys (11) at his daughter’s school, I guess she’s about 11/12 years old, told her that he would rape her and the other threatened to follow her and murder her. This is primary school and I’m sure there are many instances that we are not aware of that girls and most likely boys too, are being victimized by their peers.

Reading about this incident made me realize that our children’s futures are at risk and we need to step up and fix it. When I was still on primary school and boys would pull my hair or just annoy me, I was always told that it’s because they liked me and I’m sure I am wasn’t the only one who was told this.

Gender violence, victimization, abuse, bullying, whatever you want to call it, is a serious problem at our schools. Unfortunately, most of younger generation are over-exposed to violence and abuse and bad examples in their homes as well as communities and because of this, many innocent children fall victim to the hands of these (also innocent) kids. At this age, and sometimes younger, kids have a clear understanding of what right and wrong is but if you are exposed to ill behavior on a daily basis, it sort of becomes normal to you. So how to we tackle this issue?

Many a times, we would crucify the school for these types of things but I firmly believe that things like social behavior and manners are to be taught at home. Personality development occurs by the ongoing interaction of temperament , character, and environment. It is our duty as parents to create the best environment for our kids and to be good examples.

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What do we do as parents?

Build trust

Build a trustworthy relationship with your child so that the lines of communication is always open. your child should be comfortable to share anything with you.

Listen

Listen to what they have to say. Don’t just jump down their throats but speak in a soft and understanding manner. It will make them more comfortable to open up to you.

Believe them

All your child wants to know is that you believe them. Never make them feel that they are the one who did something wrong.

Teach

Many women struggle with knowing what they are worth and it is so important to teach our daughters this from a young age.  We need to teach our daughters to how to value themselves. When we love ourselves, we’ll know what we are worth and we’ll know what to allow and what not to allow.

I hope this post have inspired some of you to become more aware of the sort of things our children are dealing with on a daily basis. Have you got more tips on how we can help our kids when these type of matters arise? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Till later.

 

 

 

 

 

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