Family Life

Negative self-talk

How hard are you on yourself? Do you ever talk down on yourself? I know I do. It happens alot. Too often in my opinion. And I’m not proud of it. In fact, I need it to stop!Since the kids went full time back to school, I have more time to myself, with my thoughts. 

Sometimes one might not be aware of how you talk negatively to yourself. It goes something like this:

  • “I can’t do xyz”
  • “Story of my life”
  • “I’ll never be able to do it.”
  • “It’s too difficult for me.”
  • “What if they judge me?”
  • “I’m a horrible _____. (Friend, Husband, Mom, Wife, etc.)
  • “It’s too late for me.”

And there is so much more examples.

Many times I just give up on things I’m really passionate about because “the voices in my head” is telling me that I won’t get it done or that it doesn’t look right, etc. There are also times when I replay conversations or events in my head and I point out what in my mind sounded wrong or stupid or asking myself why I just didn’t keep my mouth shut. I also sometimes blame myself when my kids act up and do things a certain way. Or I just critisize myself harshly when I don’t get to clean my house properly since I’m working from home. I judge myself and I don’t give myself any credit for the many things I know I do right.

 

Giving this inner voice too much airtime only impact our confidence and with an already low confidence level, things are not always going great. I believe that people who deals with negative self-talk are not weak or unstable. Even the most successful or happiest people experience this. They just push through it which is why we don’t notice it. Some people just don’t give these thought any weight. And that’s the real challenge. All of us have constant thoughts running through our head and it depends on us, how we process them.

 

So how do we get a grip on these thoughts? I haven’t mastered that yet. I also don’t think that it will go away but we can do a few things to “manage” it better.

 

  1. Meditation – to get more in touch with your thoughts and bring you a sense of calmness 
  2. Affirmations – to help you change your negative thinking habits
  3. Practicing positivity – to increase your ability to think more positively

 

Making time for these practices and being consistent in doing it can also be challenging so I suggest you take it one day at a time and once you get into the rhythm of things, you’ll start to notice the small changes. And also…don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re a great person and what you’re currently doing is enough. You are enough!

Till later

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